Tuesday, December 13, 2011

I think this is quite true, no point being angry at anyone because you're probably just adding to that person's burden and I know it's difficult to contain your anger sometimes, but really, sometimes we do actually get mad for no particular reason, or rather a reason that wasn't that major after all. 

I have two extremes in terms of my emotions. I can be really high, happy and crazy but the other extreme of me would definitely be my inability to control my anger - I get pissed off really easily for just the teeny tiniest fault or mistake anyone makes. I can't contain my frustration and I do show it on my face. The worst part is that I vent/ show my anger more often to my parents. I realize that sometimes because of the generation gap, it might just be a little more difficult to communicate or find the same frequency to converse in. 

It's not some sort of language barrier - of course, because they're my parents, not my grandparents, but sometimes they just don't get me and I get really angry. Sometimes they forget something that I've told them earlier and again I lose control of my emotions and show my annoyance to them. I know it's probably quite heartbreaking for them, to see their obedient lovely child turn into a rebellious teen (alright, I don't rebel to such an extent to allow myself that title but...you get the idea.) I don't promise that I won't lose my temper anymore but I promise that I will definitely do my best to contain whatever unhappiness I have because half the time, I'm usually the one at fault.

On the topic of kindness, I am usually one who doesn't give up my seat on buses/ MRTs/ any form of public transport. (I usually choose not to take a seat and stand instead) Sometimes though, when I do get a seat, I see someone older than me and to be completely honest, I don't give my seat up. I know it's unbecoming of me but I truly find it awkward to be standing up in say, a crowded bus and I don't want to offend the person whom I'm offering my seat to - they might think they're old or something. 

Recently, I felt really touched by a sight I witnessed - there was this China national on the MRT carriage and when a seat was empty, he rushed for it (stereotypical Chinese behavior - yes I know I was really cynical at that time; I truly apologize for such a thought I had). I could tell that he was really tired, it was probably after a hard day's at work and that seat would grant him a bit of comfort for his aching legs for the time being. At the next station, an elderly man came in and that Chinese man looked up from his handphone, saw that elderly man and immediately got up with a smile. At the point in time, I realized how judgmental I have been at the start, feeling a bit pissed when he rushed for the seat - "Why did the Government allow all these ungracious foreigners come?" was probably a thought flashing through my mind. Then, I witnessed such a wonderful sight, and felt so bad about myself. 

Today, however, was my first ever experience giving my seat up and boy, was it fulfilling! (: I'm really proud of myself actually. I know it's probably a really simple action everyone should be doing (and people reading this are scoffing at me right now), but I didn't get to doing it till today. This isn't to brag that I've done a kind deed or anything (kindness should be kept subtle) but I just wanted to share this experience to those who have faced the same challenges like I did initially in terms of giving up my seat. It came quite naturally; I didn't receive big thank you's from that elderly gentleman but I did get a nod of thanks and that was more than enough to lift my spirits for the rest of today. 

I just feel that kindness should really be passed on; it's really what keeps our world the way it is (':

I don't feel like I'm doing enough though, I should really try to carry out more little acts of kindness. Although there's something I really enjoy doing and am continuing to do it on a regular basis. It's really simple and that is to smile at every bus driver/ security guard/ even some random strangers sometimes. It makes me really so much happier, best of all it's so simple - with a twitch of a muscle you never know but you could be making someone's day - do try it! 

I have no idea why I feel like spreading kindness and stuff all of a sudden, it's a bit weird (x 

No comments

Post a Comment