Sunday, December 23, 2012

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This post is going to be rather lengthy and unaccompanied by visuals, but it means so much to me. 

Well, so it's Christmas Eve (technically, although I'm still living the night of the 23rd of December). 

This season is such an appropriate time to think back about how life has treated us this past year and in the midst of the craziness of last-minute Christmas shopping, in the midst of enjoying the light flicker of the flame from the wick of a scented candle, in the midst of enjoying a warm peppermint mocha, I realized how thankful I should be for everything that has happened to me. Cliché as it may sound, I mean every word that I'm going to say in this post.

Now that the Mayan prophecy has indeed been proved wrong (not that I've ever believed in it), I'm feeling so grateful for the people I have around me and so thankful that I'll be spending more time with them. Honestly, 2012 has not been the best year for me, but it has taught me to be stronger. So much stronger that I never thought I would be. 

On a whole, things in school this year has not been smooth sailing at all. In fact, it was rough. Since I was young, school has been something I was good at and never have I stumbled upon so many obstacles throughout my entire school journey till I entered Year Three. I got hit hard at the start of the year with a relatively new responsibility and I learnt how to approach situations with more assertiveness the hard way - with people telling me I wasn't doing a good job, with people telling me how disappointed they were in me. True story. I am in no way exaggerating anything I have just typed/ am going to type in this post. It was a major blow and such a horrid wake up call but I'm glad I experienced that because it taught me how to stand up for things that weren't right. 

Then, came the academic work. I have never been good at academics once I entered secondary school and Year Three was just frightening, possibly because I had new commitments that I've just committed myself into and it was exceptionally difficult to adjust to the new workload. To be honest, I wouldn't say that I have learnt how to prioritize my time because I have not and my acads suffered miserably this year. (Don't worry, I am not those people who complain about how they have not done well but end up topping the class or something, though sometimes I wish I was) But, throughout all of these, I have realized how much the people around me cared for me, especially the ones that are closest to me, yet most of the time forgotten - my parents. My parents, throughout this horrible academic year, have never once chided me for producing considerably lousy results, perhaps because they knew how stressed out I was feeling, judging from my late nights, my consistent break outs on my face, my insistent binge-eating and the most obvious give-away, my heavy eye bags. My lovely mum and dad constantly supported me and encouraged me in what I was doing, were extremely proud of my non-academic ventures, and made me feel so appreciated to be a part of their life. 

But of course, 2012 has not been filled solely with terrible events and meaningful lessons that I've learnt from them - there are, of course, very happy and wonderful things that have happened, such as being given the opportunities to embark on lovely journeys such as vice captaincy for Waddle, participating in the Moot Parliament programme, campaigning round two, participating in Hwa Chong's Student Leaders' Convention and every organizing event I have been part of because all of them allowed me to meet new people and grow to love every single one of them.

2012 has been ridiculously eventful in both good and bad ways and I'm just so incredibly grateful and thankful for everything that has happened because I always believe that everything happens for a reason. Have a very merry Christmas! 

P/S: After publishing, I realized that this is my 400th post on this blog. Happy 400th! (': 

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Wednesday, December 12, 2012

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Hi, I'm back. 
Evidently, I have been very lazy. Or rather, I've been occupied with things that I enjoyed doing - I love writing and blogging but it felt good to take a break from it. Sometimes, I check the number of views I was still getting on this blog even without updating and I felt a little bit guilty. Don't worry though, guilt is not something I would allow to motivate me to do something - I'm back because I enjoy blogging. 

So, what have I been doing recently? 

Well, I've been baking,

spending time with people I love (not limited to Channel 5 of course), 


and thinking & reflecting, a lot. 

It's really crazy how 2012 is almost coming to an end and sometimes it  makes me happy thinking about what has happened so far and most of the time, I honestly end up feeling so blessed and fortunate. 2012 has been a rollercoaster ride for me, with so many ups but an equal amount of downs. I've learnt to let go, and to stay positive no matter what because I really believe that everything, everything, happens for a reason, whether we know it or not.

If the world were to end on the 21st of December this year (in which it probably won't, but still), I can safely say that I am not afraid at all. First, it's because everyone would perish together and there won't be any heartbreaks due to missing a loved one. More importantly, because I feel like although I've not accomplished anything much, I have lived my short 15 years to the fullest - I have dared to take risks and I've been a pretty happy person most of the time.

Today, in the midst of a massive cleanup of my room, I found so many lovely cards and letters that I've accumulated over the years and just reading through them one by one made me feel like I meant something to someone else and I just felt so loved. It's definitely a pity that these letters were hidden under piles of useless junk (I am a really really messy person, trust me) so I used them to decorate a underused cork board I had lying around. Now, that cork board is filled with so much love and it's displayed in an extremely prominent position in my room because I know that in 2013, it will definitely be something that I will turn to quite often whenever I feel utterly horrible about myself or if I ever need a quick perk me up.

If the world were to end on the 21st of December, I will miss the love I've felt from my friends and family the most.

I caught 12/12/12 12:12 today.
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