Sunday, May 20, 2012

Survived Week 9 of Term 2. Gonna aim to live Week 10 to the fullest. 

T'was a crazy hectic week with so many PTs due. So glad all is over (': and 13ATCH did it together! It's so heartwarming having the batch facebook group where everyone's really just helping one another, giving morale and other forms of support. 
It's all over, I'm really happy! Spent the weekend really just recharging and gearing up for the week ahead - Week 10! A very very exciting week indeed.

There's really nothing much to say about this week - mostly has been focused a lot on my academic commitments - which is, of course, an extremely mundane topic to touch on and therefore I shall not do that.

Currently, there's quite a lot of things bothering me. (Academics was bothering me very much last week, but it's over now, so I'm not really thinking about them now) I really need to change my horrible mindset about something that means the world to me. It's crazy how I'm feeling so selfish about everything that's happening, I'm feeling very insecure and very pressured. There are so many expectations, but the thing is, I really doubt I will be able to live up to these expectations. People keep telling me that I can do it and I have nothing to worry about but no - I don't. I can't do it - nobody knows people's perception of me more than myself and I'm not confident of everything right now. Really.

The horrible thing about is me that as much as people are expecting a lot from me, and as much as I hate that and feel so uncomfortable and insecure about all these, I'm at the same time, expecting a lot from myself as well and would feel absolutely devastated if I don't get what I want. I really want to change this mindset of mine because I will just fall into pieces if it happens (which I think will). But I truly can't and I have never really wanted anything so badly before. It's crazy. It's such an unhealthy mindset. At the same time, I don't even think I deserve and am up for it. So yes, I'm battling an internal struggle ): 

I wish I could have a mindset like what this song talks about: 

I don't really like this song a whole load, but the rap that Amy does really talks about something that I want to have - the whole having confidence issue. It's really about having the guts to do what you want and not caring about what others really think. Karmin has been such an inspiration to me as well, from singing in their houses to getting sign to LA Reid's record label! Don't particularly like their "mainstream" songs though ): But, they are still quite amazing and are one of the artistes these days with real talent. 

Thinking more won't do me any good.
I think I'm just going to try to put in my best effort.

On another note, I went for PAP's Hougang By-election Rally today! I intend to blog about it soon on a seperate post because I have ... quite a lot to say (heh just like last year's General Elections). It was a really good rally, I'm so glad I went for it. I don't even know why I'm so interested in Singapore politics - I just am - that's why I absolutely love Social Studies (': \

Crazy week ahead (in a more positive way though, unlike last week)

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