Finding Joy

Wednesday, May 11, 2016

How lucky I am, to be able to find so much joy in everything I do, my whole life.

Sometimes, I wonder, if it's just my own ability to think positively and see the good in every experience I get (say, if someone else lived my life, she may not be as satisfied by it as I am), or perhaps I'm really that fortunate to have things somehow magically work out. To be honest, I think it's the former--but that doesn't mean I'm any less blessed than I am, because I feel like having such a mindset is important, and I'm glad I've adopted it.

Sure, it can be upsetting having to experience setbacks and learn about missed opportunities. (Trust me, I find myself in such situations way too often--more so than anyone would expect). But as soon as I hear about such things, they would mostly be swiftly chucked to the back of my mind and I don't brood over them. Instead, I regularly acknowledge and re-visit my own little merits, and count my blessings regularly. Perhaps it's my way of consolation--but hey, if it works, why not? Of course, I have many insecurities, but they are usually transient.

At this present moment, I'm so fortunate to be able to do something I love and in fact, have loved since I was a child. Everything has worked out amazingly in its own mysterious ways. I must admit that the people I am working with are so different from myself, in terms of interest and way of life. Yet, I find myself very comfortable in their company, and am thankful for all that they have taught me so patiently.

Recent weeks have been quite a struggle though. Decisions about my next steps in life have to be made, and I find myself doubting and questioning myself a lot more. What is it that I truly, truly want to achieve in this world? Sure, I have a vague idea but right now, all I see are floating visions and an inability to form actual plans or goals to reach them.

Still, I am grateful for these past few months. Being able to concretize my passion into a real-world context and gaining the understanding that it is actually possible to enjoy and love what you do as a living, has been crucial in my growth as a person. And I foresee this playing a major role when I make my eventual choice.

My only hope is that I continue to find joy in every single thing I do and involve myself in, and meet people who will impact my life and change me for the better. And if it's not too much to ask for--that I influence theirs positively too. I don't know what's to come, but I am excited.

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