Thursday, August 22, 2013

I've been on this Earth for a good 16 years and I've never really found out what I wanted to do with my life. Having no long term goal in mind and really just following the typical flow of things was getting too tiring and increasingly dreadful. So what is this end goal that everyone is looking to achieve? Horrible as it sounds but realistic as can be, for most people, it would be their career choice that will eventually be most important (apart from family - but that isn't something we can control or work towards or draw up a life plan for).

Think about it, the most frequently asked question amongst young people, even from the tender kindergarten age would probably be: "What do you want to be when you grow up?" and for the longest time ever, mine has been "I don't know" or immature dreams like "artist", "superstar", or "baker" (the last one isn't actually that immature and is still one of my dreams, though unrealistic. So I haven't been able to give people a definite answer. Up till now. I (think and hope) I have finally figured what I really want to be when I grow older and in the appropriate age to find a full-time job. This choice truly stems from my love of writing. 

"Author" has actually been one of my answers when I was younger and I used to write a whole ton of short stories (and even illustrated) on paper which I stapled together. 

This is the first time I'm publicly showing my little works of art :') When I dug them out from my drawer (I have one entire drawer dedicated to my self-made books), I was quite surprised at the amount of "books" I actually wrote. 

In Primary five, I even wrote a story that was e-published (that is still available online for sale even though my relationship with the publisher is kind of fuzzy so if anyone ever wants to read that story, just approach me personally I can give you the actual printed version of the book!) That strange book actually got me on local newspaper which I suppose is quite a milestone for me. Then again, this dream never did materialize and even though it might in the future, as I got older I realized that writing fiction isn't my thing. It's really difficult to come up with fresh new ideas and storylines, probably due to my lack of exposure to the world around me. I know that I can't be like JK Rowling who is able to create this entire new world that somehow people can relate to. They say nothing is impossible but I know know myself - I wouldn't be able to do that. I still enjoy writing fiction a great deal though, but I know that I won't be able to make it my livelihood.

What then would be a more realistic career path I'd be able to take that requires me to write then? Journalism, perhaps. In fact, YES -journalism! Truth be told, I was never that certain about taking this path until the Career Day we had in school last month where we got to sign up for talks by alumni in the certain field. While a lot of my batch mates and friends signed up for things like Medicine, Law, Business, I went for the Entrepreneurship talk and of course, Media & Journalism. Yes, I am an underachiever but it's what I am genuinely interested in, I wouldn't want to live a life morphing into someone I am not. After listening to the entrepreneurship talk, I'm fairly interested in it but I don't think that going into it is something that I can plan to because a lot of it is based on whether the opportunity is presented in front of you at the right time! When sitting through the journalism talk though, I had this moment of epiphany and was pretty darn sure that this would be the career path I would want to take.

It had all I wanted  - a job that changes every day, a job that requires writing, a job that allows me to travel (if I'm lucky), amongst many other plus points. However, I am fully aware of all the downsides to this job (there are many too) - the life of a journalist is very busy and you don't exactly get any fixed rest time because there might be a sudden story you'd be required to cover! Apparently a lot of them do not get married :-( But no one would want me either so that's alright HAHAHA.

However, this isn't like a fixed goal either because I will still consider other options. I'm rather inclined to working in PR or Marketing or perhaps even the Ministry of Foreign Affairs because what they do there really interests me as well. But it's really nice to actually have a certain goal to work towards though :-) 

Then again, my dreams of starting up my own café cum bookstore hasn't died down yet, though I'd probably pursue it when I'm slightly older and slightly more stable.

Above all, I need to make sure that I don't lose myself through all these and I actually think that I won't. I just really need a time travelling machine to find out what I'd eventually become because uncertainties make me insecure and unhappy. And I want to be happy :-)

Ok yup I just wanted a place to share my thoughts :-) 

No comments

Post a Comment