Colourless

I wish I could just put a stop to all these, to detach myself like I normally do. Somehow, this feels different. It's not just something that has gone wrong, it's not just one part of me that's crumbling. My entire being is paralyzed. 

I get angry and upset at those who don't deserve it, and I can't seem to stop myself despite knowing it is wrong. I lay motionless and I spend more time running away from reality than living it, choosing to stay in bed (though I did manage to watch a brilliant movie yesterday - The Grand Budapest Hotel - it's probably the only good thing that has happened to me recently) for the most part. 

I just want to scream everything out, but a part of me knows that no one's going to look back or even care. Then again, I should let it out only for myself. Be kind, even in one's worst moments. 

All these will pass though, I strongly believe. I will be strong and I need to make a consistent effort in making things work.