Sunday, February 27, 2011

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i'm feeling so surreal .

plucked two teeth at the dentist's yesterday . adult teeth is super long and scary and much more painful than the baby ones )':



my mom was sleeping and my dad was bathing . no one noticed , no one knew .



i always thought my mom slept for very long , and my dad took a long time to bathe . i guess i was right .


it was quite surreal , the whole experience . it was my first time actually fainting . the feeling of dizziness when i was about to faint is so ... difficult to describe . i was really helpless and i seriously thought i was really going to die . i wanted to walk to my mom and wake her up and call for help , but i couldn't , the distance was too long . it was the closest encounter i had with dying .

i'm okay now . but i'm still quite traumatized with the experience .

i don't know , but i think this year is going to be one with many many encounters and experiences with various things . i mean , when i turned fourteen , many things started occurring to me .

its crazy , this amazing little world .
but please please do take note , i'm just this girl , and there's a limit to stuff i can take .

love ,
liyin (:
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Thursday, February 24, 2011

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ohmygosh so pissed )':
i know it's frigging "for my own good" but that's not the way .

oh shut up .
i apologize beforehand for this impulsive venting of anger on my blog , a public space .
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Monday, February 21, 2011

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thanks for all the birthday wishes guys (:
really means a lot to me ;D it's so awesome that so many of my primary school classmates remember my birthday ( like , not on facebook , but sms ! ) especially you , xuan wei ! you don't even have facebook to rely on (: haha and those who tried to wish me on the dot at midnight ! ;D thanks (: ohyes and garylim who wished me beforehand ! haha , he always does that .

right ,
but it's quite a depressing birthday i guess D: i uncle passed away yesterday , so there's this tinge of sadness in the family . but i think that it's a reminder for me that as i grow older , there'll be more of a workload for me to carry , emotional and mental stress and the lost of close ones , as everyone grows older .

though i wasn't exactly very very close to my uncle , but it just gives me this wake up call to treasure my loved ones more (:

i got to go for my uncle's wake , so yup . will end here ~

thanks emily for the lovely urm , birthday thingum ;D

love ,
liyin ;D
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Wednesday, February 16, 2011

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i think sometimes feelings just can't be put into words .
that's what pictures are for (:
especially romanticism paintings . they express stuff that can't be described through words . the above photograph / painting doesn't exactly exhibit whatever i'm feeling now . but the essence is kind of there .

to put it simply , the picture is basically depicting the emotion of both happiness and sadness . it's sad cos like , the girl killed herself and death is usually seen as something bad ( ahh , but what about utilitarianism ? that is the question ) and happiness is exhibited as she goes to another place where it will be beautiful ( picture lovely meadows ) and she will be free etc . ohmygosh i have this burning desire to touch on utilitarianism now but it's quite late already and i need to sleep / do homework etc . so i shall not . another day perhaps .

ANYWAY , the main focal point of today's post is on my emotions . haha , right now i feel really self centered or something . these few days , i just feel terribly unsure of how i feel . but not really . because i'm very sure that i'm feeling unsure . oh crap and now i'm even more terribly mixed up with my emotions . to put it simply , i feel very happy , very carefree at one point , but sometimes i just think again and i become thoroughly depressed and stressed D: i think i'm trapped in this whole entanglement of my own emotions .

i'm so crazily busy with tons of email to clear everyday , and i have so much homework , and so many commitments . and i'm only sec two D: i guess half the load will pass after spirit week cos that's when house day is over , founder's day is over etc . what'll happen when i reach upper sec ? i'll sink deeper into the hole i climbed out from . as they say , the higher you climb , the deeper you fall . argh this is so true . but oooh i'm so excited for house day (: we're gonna make the morning announcements and i'm gonna overcome my stage fright , hopefully ;D i didn't use to have stage fright in hips but after walking up for a brief moment on ihg opening ceremony , i realised that rgs is much more intimidating .

ohoh and my day started terribly today . right , i don't want to touch on it .
my stupid emotions . i should sort them out soon .

love ,
liyin .

p/s : sometimes i really love blogs . it's such a great place to reflect on your day , your life etc . it's very very enriching and beneficial if you use it well ;D

p/p/s : however , sometimes i have to control myself from typing insulting / offensive crap , even if those are my true feelings . i think i should recreate my private blog where i can just hurl vulgarities . letting your steam off is really a good way to calm down . but i'm afraid blogger just screws up and pooft ! all my info is revealed to the world .
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Monday, February 14, 2011

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overdue photos (:

outing with emily on 0502'11

class deco angelia & i did up in a few hours (:

doesn't look impressive at all , but it was quite difficult doing it okay ! and i love my girl (: if you look closely wahaha .

secret on how to keep awake late at night - unhealthy food that gives you the sugar rush ! ;D

valentine's day with emily juju (:

unagi maki ahhh .

coffee chocolate snow ice before + after the attack by the jujus ;D

macs double chocolate frappes x 2 ;D

and the horribly sweet cinnamon melts i hate .

my secret valentine is sharon haha ;D she gave me this cute microphone thingum (:

and emily ! gave me these roses . i love this photo (:

it was quite fun today (Y) .
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Thursday, February 10, 2011

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hey guys (:

in a happier mood now ;D right , so there was IHG opening today , finally ! i think waddle's banner is damn awesome . heh , * egoes * seriously . wahaha . it was like the first time i walked up the stage thingum at the parade square . it was quite cool yay ! rgs is is really scarier than hips .

anyway , the thing above made my day ! ;DD click the screenshot and see the highest rated comments (: wahaha i received so many thumbs up for my comment . i'm so happy cos that prolly means ryan higa himself will read it . and the thumbs are rapidly increasing . about ten minutes after i print screen-ed that screenshot , there were six more thumbs ! ;D haha you can watch the video here .

heh notice i print screened it at the MICHAEL JACKSON part . my two favourite people in one picture . ahhhhhh , can life get any better ? okay this is a drastic contrast to my last post but i'm starting to enjoy life . what a big change in less than 24 hours ? *sigh , that's why its tough being 13 .

love ,
liyin !

ohmygosh latest update - 61 people thumbed my comment up ! ;DDD but some retard go and reply that sean is away in school . I KNOW THAT . i'm not stupid ): i only wanted sean , can't i want something even though i won't get it ?
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Wednesday, February 9, 2011

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my life officially sucks .

actually , nothing really happened that drastically changed my life . i just feel terrible about myself . it's like i had this sudden pop of the enthusiastic and fresh bubble i used to have . i feel horribly restless in class and everything and it's not a good feeling , definitely . i just hate how my life is going and how it's the same and it's monotonous . not that i know everything , but i just don't see a purpose .

i have this yearning of breaking out from this ridiculous education system . i mean , i know it's not that bad but i hate it that you are studying things that will not help in life in future . they say it's good for you , but who actually solves algebraic equations when they are older ? who does comprehension ? it's good to have some knowledge , but why ? why do people yearn for knowledge ? are they really curious or do they take them in just for the sake of taking them in , just because their parents say they should and it'll help in their grades or anything ? i'm not against knowledge , of course . i'm just curious ( i guess this makes me one of the people who wants knowledge ) but why do i want it ? i have no idea .

another question i'm insanely curious about is why asian parents like their children to be either doctors or lawyers . it's quite ridiculous . as in , yeah doctors and lawyers probably earn a lot and everyone's just interested in money but why don't you let your kids do what they like ? what their passion takes them ? it's just something to ponder upon . is money more important ? is doing something you don't enjoy for money better than being a poor but happy person ? this topic just came to me because my parents are kind of like forcing my brother to go into medicine when he wants to major in philosophy after his A's this year . and i don't know why but i'm agreeing with them . but that's only because my brother has always had an interest in passion in science since young and is amazingly and freakingly good at it . he's prolly quite good in philosophy too but philosophy doesn't have a stable career path ( so the reason goes back to money ) .

right , now talking about how great my brother isn't helping me in my confidence . ugh , i feel horrible about myself . i'm like this terrible person who's not good at anything ; be it academic , social , common sense etc . am i a crazy retard ? )': am i just too conscious ? i doubt it . i am a crazy horrible person that no one likes . i'm sorry . i was just born like this . terrible and suckish .

on a lighter note , virtual insanity by jamiroquai is back on my crazy loop playlist with only one song . it's a 1996 song but the music video is crazy simple but awesome . the lyrics are a good topic to ponder on . are we truly living in a world of virtual insanity ?

Oh yeah, what we're living in (let me tell ya)
It's a wonder man can eat at all
When things are big that should be small
Who can tell what magic spells we'll be doing for us
And I'm giving all my love to this world
Only to be told
I can't see
I can't breathe
No more will we be
And nothing's going to change the way we live
Cos' we can always take but never give
And now that things are changing for the worse,
See, its a crazy world we're living in
And I just can't see that half of us immersed in sin
Is all we have to give these -

Futures made of virtual insanity now
Always seem to, be govern'd by this love we have
For useless, twisting, our new technology
Oh, now there is no sound - for we all live underground

And I'm thinking what a mess we're in
Hard to know where to begin
If I could slip the sickly ties that earthly man has made
And now every mother, can choose the colour
Of her child
That's not nature's way
Well that's what they said yesterday
There's nothing left to do but pray
I think it's time I found a new religion
Waoh - it's so insane
To synthesize another strain
There's something in these
Futures that we have to be told.

Futures made of virtual insanity - now
Always seem to, be govern'd by this love we have
For useless, twisting, our new technology
Oh, now there is no sound - for we all live underground

Now there is no sound
If we all live underground
And now it's virtual insanity
Forget your virtual reality
Oh, there's nothing so bad.
I know yeah

Of this virtual insanity, we're livin in.
Has got to change, yeah
Things, will never be the same.
And I can't go on
While we're livin' in oh, oh virtual insanity
Oh, this world, has got to change
Cos I just, I just can't keep going on, it was virtual.
Virtual insanity that we're livin' in, that we're livin' in
That virtual insanity is what it is

Futures made of virtual insanity - now
Always seem to, be govern'd by this love we have
For useless, twisting, our new technology
Oh, now there is no sound - for we all live underground

Living - Virtual Insanity
Living - Virtual Insanity
Living - Virtual Insanity
Living - Virtual Insanity

Virtual Insanity is what we're living in

someone reviewed the lyrics in a forum and i think it's quite true .

a user by the name of ed said this ,

" The song is actually about how we advance ourselves in foolish evil technology. Never noticing our love for each other becomes outdated. By doing this we create a false world of hate and discord. Not understanding our purpose for this human reality can basically sum this up. He's taking about men who live in sin( which is really a lack of love ) religion is wrong, but love never fails he's saying. "

i love songs with meaningful lyrics and not songs that has " elastic " " fantastic " " butterfly " in the same song and it doesn't even link or songs that just repeatedly go " gee " . no personal attacks here (:

right i'm still feeling freaking lousy about myself .
i am on the verge of dying . okay not really but i am seriously feeling ridiculous .

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Saturday, February 5, 2011

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ho hum ho hum

i am fat . freaking fat !

i ate too much and

passed too little .

ho hum ho hum

i am fat .

WAHAHAHA OKAY awesome amazing poem (:

CNY DAY THREE . didn't go visiting today D: went out with emily juju (: it was kind of awesome . shall upload pictures tomorrow or something .

anyway , i think i shall go and do some revision or something . have been slacking too much D:

love ,
liyin .
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Thursday, February 3, 2011

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a picture tells a thousand words (: even if it's just taken by a lousy phone camera .

first stop ! paternal grandma's house (: there'll always be pringles haha .

& there's organic lollipops this year ! most probably bought by my aunt , but this is the first time i've tasted sour lollipops that were not intentionally meant to be sour .

& a pot of flowers i went to thompson to get yesterday ! (:

my mum holding the oranges ! ;DD and my brother is at the background holding the book " the philosophy of language " D:

my second uncle's house ! (: i think this photo is quite cool uh (:

butter joys ! that's apparently the right name for these buttery thingums that are oh so good .

coke zero + mandarin oranges + hongbao = the basic necessities of cny ! ;DD

the cny mood's so evident in my maternal grandparents' house ! ;DD

the goodie box there ! ahhh , look at all the hershey stuff ! hershey's kisses & reese's pieces ! ;DD i loved reese's peanut butter cups but pieces are just as good ahhhhh (: it's so awesome when your grandma goes to resorts world sentosa and ventures into the hershey shop ! ;DD

ohoh and i hate it when people think those are m&ms and their faces change when they realize that it has a peanut butter and not a chocolate filling ! please ! peanut butter is sooooo good . not all , but reese's are so fantastic (Y) .

my little cousin who took my phone and zilian-ed under my guidance hahahah ! she's the one who took this and pressed the button okay ! even though it looks like my hand's doing the job .

and that little girl goes again (:

right . so cny was quite nice .
even though lesser things satisfy / make us happy as we grow older . ahhhh , nostalgia . the joys of being a small kid .

but money makes everyone smile and wahaha i got money ! twohundredandseventysix (: gonna collect more tomorrow yay . oh and i gained money but gained a kilo too D: so sad . i just couldn't control myself ahhhh .

love ,
liyin .
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Wednesday, February 2, 2011

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i think i can really identify with the above image / quote i koped from tumblr .

i have always been a really cheerful girl in terms of how i always smile , and laugh , which is usually hysterically , uncontrollable and most likely unstoppable . but sometimes , most of the time , that's just a front i put up to make people think that i'm a happy and emotionally strong person . but no , i'm not quite that girl .

right . why am i self reflecting ! D: it seems quite weird . it's chinese new year's eve ! be cheerful yay (: anyway , went back to hips todayyyyy ! ;DD

jessa is super epic . she went at like 7am and wore the hips uniform and posed as a student . haha so cute (: then met bibiana ! (: but they didn't allow us to go in ): but after that they did , then we all chiong in (: saw a lot of the p6'10 batch but not my batch ! D: i was like so lonely . but after that i saw brian and xuebin (: then hmm , i went to music room two with jessa , bibiana , and urm , caleb ( ? ) , tifanny and jie yi and some others ! sorry i can't remember so many names . haha i didn't really know caleb , tifany and jie yi but we opened up quite fast , i guess (:

then urm stayed for quite a bit , saw a few teachers and schoolmates , then went to hougang mall , met up with some of the 6r7'09-ers , and we had quite a lot of fun ! ;DD i'm the queen of cheat yay (: that's a title i self proclaim myself to be yeah baby . haha and seriously i'm not horny ):

okay i'm not in a writing mood now . i'm yawing away D: and my gums really hurt . i've got a horrible feeling that my one and only wisdom tooth is popping out . oh yeap and today had reunion dinner at my paternal side , it was quite cool . we had steamboat and barbecue . i'm scared of the oil !

kaythanksbye !

oooooooooh i can't wait for tomorrow (:
love ,
liyin .
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Tuesday, February 1, 2011

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go click the image up there to enlarge the post angelia wrote on her blog regarding national identity . or you can click here to read it first before coming back here (: i thought it was a rather good topic to discuss and since we're doing singapore history in history lessons right now , it wouldn't hurt to think about it . no harm intended . if it is offensive , please tell me and i'll change it or something . it's all in the name of identifying certain issues (: right , so this is my take on it :

What is Singapore's national identity ? Do we even have one ? I am sure that many people have heard of the not-so-recent-but-still-ongoing issue regarding the national costume Miss Singapore Universes have to wear to the international competition . We do not have a proper national costume like how other countries do , for example Malaysia's a baju kurong and Indonesia has the kebaya .

What about Singapore ? Honestly , there's no denying that we do not have a national costume that immediately identifies with our country , and there was a huge debate going on a while back about how we do not have a national identity that was brought up due to the national costume issue . Also , Angelia pointed out that with the large influx of foreigners , our national identity might be slowly eroding away and whether or not we even had a national identity .

Right , I disagree with the point that we do not have a national identity . National Identity does not equal to a symbol ( a national costume in this case ) that is synonymous to the country . Rather , it is a behavior or a special character we have that defines who we are as a nation . I believe that all countries have an identity because every country has their own special way of life , and of course , Singapore is no exception .

So , in my opinion , our National Identity is our diverse range of people living here . Since the 19th century , Singapore has been a place where foreigners come and make a living and build a career . Therefore , I object to the rhetorical question Angelia's posed regarding our fading national identity due to the many foreigners coming here . Because they are actually the ones that contribute to the uniqueness of what Singapore is today - a country with races living together . Personally , Singapore's diverse range of ethic groups and the fact that we are able to live together is actually something that makes me really proud of . And a National Identity is something that citizens should be proud of .

Some might argue that the 19th century immigrants cannot be compared to the foreigners flocking in now as last time , Singapore had no identity , no characteristic that defined us and was just a place people could come and work and make a living . It was not a home for most immigrants . But now , there are true Singaporeans born in Singapore . However I feel that there is no difference , no difference at all . The foreigners that come in this modern day might chose to settle down and have Singaporean babies . They would integrate into our society and will contribute even more to the already wide diversity of people living in Singapore .

And that leads me to my next point . Diversity . Are the different races truly living in harmony here ? In actual fact , no . We may appear to , with no racial riots happening as did in the past . But there is a certain extent of discrimination or on a lighter note , differentiation . Not guilty of such an act ? Think again . Think about how you used to tell racist jokes at a point of time when you were in primary school . No harm is done , everyone forgets about it with a little laugh , sometimes quite hysterical , but the point is that no one sees the severity of such things .

It goes to show that people do have an issue with the colour of the skin or the language one speaks . Everyone is human , of the same class . However, there is still quite an obvious difference and we cannot deny it . We can attempt to ignore this fact but it is very difficult . If Singapore is able to maintain her current state of racial harmony , then i think it would be quite a good thing already . I belong to the majority race in Singapore and do not know how it feels like to be in the minority ethic groups . However , what i know is that what we really need to do now is to open our arms and extend it to foreigners who come here to make a living .

okay ! i guess that ends my discussion with myself on singapore's national identity and diversity . i'm not very pleased with myself because i think i went quite off topic but yeah . currently i'm reading UNCLE TOM'S CABIN , in which abraham lincoln said to the author " So you're the little woman who wrote the book that started this great war ! " . the book refers to the book i'm currently reading and the great war refers to no , not world war two but the Civil War , which is the war that happened in America regarding namely the blacks and the whites .

it's quite an interesting book , charting the progress from slavery to freedom of fugitives who escape the chains of American chattel slavery and other stuff . i'm not done with reading it yet but i can already feel the discrimination and anguish the African Americans feel . it's truly quite saddening .

on a lighter note , there's no school tomorrow ! (: going back to hips yay ;DD

love ,
liyin .
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