Liberation

Hello friends :-)

The promotional examinations to round off my first year in junior college are finally over today, and I cannot be more thankful. To be honest, this is really just the start of more things, such as Project Work and I also have Higher Chinese O Levels to re-take and hopefully Orientation stuff (fingers crossed, since this depends so much on my promo grades) but I'm definitely feeling a lot more liberated and less tied down by the academic stress.

This definitely hasn't been the best few weeks and in fact there has been so many struggles throughout this entire studying period with a lot of emotional and physical fatigue and just a lot of drama - alright maybe not drama, because that word kind of undermines things and makes it seem overly exaggerated - but a lot of things have been happening during this time as well, so it has been really difficult for me personally. 

It has undoubtedly been a crazy ride and in fact, the science kids are still in the midst of their examinations due to really bad exam planning on the part of the school - the arts kids (i.e. myself!) or people with my subject combination had four papers in the span of three days last week, all of which were essay papers that were on average three hours long, and only one paper this week. The worst day would have to be last Thursday where we had Economics (my worst subject) and History (overflowing with content) on the same day, so it was six hours of continuous essay writing of about twenty pages. On the other hand, the science kids have three papers in a row this week and those who take Geography instead of Economics have four papers this week, which is pretty insane. This is really bad scheduling, they should have alternated the sciences and the humanities papers, but then again A Levels mightn't be that kind so they could have planned it this way to prepare us for what's to come in a year's time. 

In the midst of all these busyness the past four weeks being in school from morning till evening even on Saturdays and Sundays (started my study plan in Term 3 Week 9), I would like to take this time to look back and be grateful and thankful for all the happy things that happened to me, no matter how small they are. I don't think I have properly thanked the people who stayed by me this entire study period so hopefully this backdated show of gratitude will suffice :-) Better late than never, and all the best to everyone still fighting a hard battle! 

September holidays - when Shermaine surprised us with Barbie doll mini pocky biscuits :-) It honestly made my day, thank you beautiful girl. 

On one of the weekends after studying in school, I decided to explore my neighbourhood a bit before heading home and got some frozen yoghurt, which was a pleasant surprise because Berrylite at Greenwich V supports the hearing impaired and hire them so it was actually very exciting and fresh ordering my yoghurt without having to say anything, and it made me feel a bit good supporting such establishments :-) This could have been a very superficial feeling, but considering I have been studying and being miserable about it, it made me feel doubly joyful. Nata de coco with froyo is also a surprisingly good pair! 

On one of the Saturdays/ Sundays in school where there was a high chance I'd bump into Mudassar (who is a really nice and lovely accidental study buddy - thank you so much Muddy for the company for the days and evenings we'd see each other at the windy benches - all the best for the last two papers - you got this! oh, and please do bring me to watch the sunset at the stadium steps one day; you promised! HAHA), and on this particular day, there was some talk going on and we were invited to steal the leftover (but still very good) food from the prepared refreshments, and it made me very happy. 

On one particular Sunday when I was alone studying at the windy benches eating home made chicken rice my mum prepared for me to bring to school for lunch (because no stalls were open), I was talking to my mum on Whatsapp at the same time and she sent me this photo of my two favourite stuffed toys - Mr Ducky Wacky Oh So Funny & Ah Mun - to spur me on and it honestly put a smile on my face, to know that there were people/ creatures who though were not physically with me, were mentally supporting me. A big shout out to Mama Yap who has been ultra supportive especially during this period, preparing lunch for me tirelessly without fail when I studied in school during the weekends, understanding when I got home a lot later than usual and most importantly, tolerating my horrible mood swings and when I got angry for no reason. 

A big thank you to Papa Yap as well, who sends me to school daily and during this period, even picked me up from school as well, which is such a special treat and I feel so blessed, not having to take public transport home which by itself sucks a lot of energy from me already.

This photo was taken after my Literature lesson on the last week of lessons before promos started the next week and it was quite scary that it appeared black and white even though my school is really green majority and posting this on my Instagram made a couple of my classmates comment "prison" which I thought was quite funny and it's always nice to find humour even in the darkest of times, which I'm really good at - I amuse myself so much and hopefully that's a good thing.

A selfie I took to commemorate the next day being the start of the promotional exams and I think I initially planned to take a selfie afterwards/ during the course of taking promos but it slipped my mind so I only have this. Featuring sour candy which Ragini gave me in a surprise study pack filled with goodies - thank you so much genie, I can't wait to catch up with you and give you your belated birthday gift HAHA you are such a joy to have honestly, and I'm thankful for you even though we rarely see each other now. Just two more papers, you can do it and I am excited for our next Wednesday date! 

A few things I can't live without when I study - water and candles! I honestly love the taste of water and I drink gallons at a time, and it helps that my cup is so lovely (look at it, it's 3D!) which I got as a Christmas gift at least five years back. Scented candles are another essential, I have too many to keep count of and this period, I've been lighting the Green Apple one, and a bit of my Vanilla one as well. I have this belief that not only do candles emit light, they emit positive vibes as well, it's so amazing and it makes my room smell phenomenal. Plus, the romantic vibe gets me excited too (which keeps me awake!); just kidding, it's the fear that I'd burnt down my house that keeps me awake when my candles are lighted. 

Fun fact: I study in the dark with one candle and one small lamp because too many sources of light (especially from the main light in my room) casts shadows on my work, which irritates and annoys me to no end. So the above picture is an accurate representation of how I study - except I have to lock my room when I do this and turn the lights back on again when my parents enter because they'd nag at me for ruining my eyes. 

Mid promos break with Sarah after we completed four out of the five papers we were supposed to take (and had a weekend to prepare for our last paper, which was today). It definitely was a good break, and I'm so thankful - for good food, and for Sarah as well who has stuck by me for so long, and has been so brave and patient this entire period. 

This photo was taken during most recent weekend, of my three largest soft toys on my bed staring out of the window "contemplating life", as my twitter caption went. This is my new strategy to make me stay out of my bed - to have my toys guard against the evil Juju from jumping and falling asleep on her bed, and regretting it afterwards. I come up with the strangest ways to make myself study, from this to studying in the dark - I hope all these pays off. 

So yes, promotional exams are finally over, and it's time to start on my Post Promos Plans - I have so many, it's insane: most of them consist of catching up with friends, visiting museums, Singapore Writers' Festival; also some DIY craft and room decor projects; and of course baking and cooking! Oh, and doing more of reading and writing - I intend to start on writing a fictional story, it's definitely been a long time since I last did that - probably the one most notable was the one I published in Primary Five and I'm excited to do something like that again, of a more mature standard (hopefully!) I have been reading up on some Arts Council programme and I hope to apply for it next year or after A Levels and getting started now will do no harm (stating it here hoping that it would spur me on if I ever intend to back out from applying)

Thankful and excited;