Tuesday, February 7, 2012

My life has been really really crazy recently. 

We had our Student Leader's Investiture last Wednesday and I was invested as Waddle's Vice Capt as well as a Year 3 Prefect. (This post came so late as I had initially wanted photos to go with the post, but the only photos I took were taken by Yasmine and she didn't post it - which is perfectly alright :D) Anyway, that formal ceremony really struck me, it was a clear indication that I was formally stepping up, that I was going to have so much more responsibilities than I used to have. I mean, although my workload has started, the feeling sunk in even deeper after SLI and I felt really uncertain of my capabilities and stuff like that. 

I have no idea why I get so insecure but I guess everyone's like that. I mean, I'm sure there really isn't anyone who's completely satisfied with what they're doing and are fully confident of their actions. I just hope I'm not exceptionally paranoid as compared to my fellow peers. You know, everything has been progressing so fast - I think Fiducia's (my PB batch) going through a lot right now - with everything happening extremely fast and well, it's just the start of February and we have so many decisions to make already. 

We are already expected to know our priorities and how we're intending to step up for Year Four. I really have no idea. I'm really torn between all my other commitments. I know that we shouldn't be focusing on just one commitment and we should be balancing everything equally - putting our best in everything, but well, that's really difficult and ultimately, I guess I would still need to pick one ultimate commitment to focus more on, the one that I will be able to contribute the most to. Not to mention academics, which I was never exceptionally strong at. I really don't know how I'm going to cope with all these expectations and what decision I should arrive at. I'm sorry for being so terribly vague but these are quite confidential stuff (: I will have to come to a decision by next Wednesday. I'm quite lost, but I'm still coping. 

I've grown so much this past week - learnt so much more about myself and learnt to cope better with all the things happening in my life right now. I'm exhausted, but rather satisfied.

On a happier note, in case you think I'm emo (which I'm not; I'm just doing a bit more serious thinking), I met L3NY minus Hui Min - my sec 2 clique, last Friday, for lunch! It was amazing just spending time with them, because they're just so amazing and their company makes me get so high and crazy because we're all just really random and we aren't embarrassed to act all stupid around one another. I love you guys, really (':

you guys are amazing :D

At least something wonderful to look forward to at the end of the day! Last week, I felt really tired and quite "sian" to go for House Practice but it actually cheered me up so much - the sec ones were really nice, unlike what I had expected initially. I feel that that House Pract truly gave me some sort of direction and my passion was really renewed - not that it was gone, but it grew stronger - because I realized that it isn't all that work and we can actually see the fruit of our labour. 

Oh and did I tell you how much I love sitting near PSLs? They're so bubbly and alive, thank you Wang You and Phionna! Opening my diary and seeing random lyrics of "What Makes You Beautiful" scribbled inside really makes my day!

To end this post, here's a poem which I found really inspiring (it doesn't really have any hidden or cheem meanings that require you to read between the lines but I found it simple but impactful); 

Don't Quit
When things go wrong as they sometimes will,
When the road you're trudging seems all up hill,
When the funds are low and the debts are high
And you want to smile, but you have to sigh,
When care is pressing you down a bit,
Rest if you must, but don't you quit.
Life is queer with its twists and turns,
As every one of us sometimes learns,
And many a failure turns about
When he might have won had he stuck it out;
Don't give up though the pace seems slow--
You may succeed with another blow,
Success is failure turned inside out--
The silver tint of the clouds of doubt,
And you never can tell how close you are,
It may be near when it seems so far;
So stick to the fight when you're hardest hit--
It's when things seem worst that you must not quit.
Edgar A. Guest

Yeap it's the poem I wrote in your birthday card, Jing En! If you happen to be reading this :D Have a nice week ahead and really, the weekend is near (: Don't stress out too much because everything will eventually turn out right - I try to tell myself that. 

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