Thursday, June 2, 2011

Yesterday , I predicted that today would be an exciting day , for the lack of a better word .
Well , was it exciting ? Not exactly .
Today was basically a day that's really meaningful and so "deep" . I did so much reflecting upon myself and I can say that I have found most of the meaning of life .

In the morning I had waddle v-capt interviews . I reached school at about 7.30AM even though my slot was at 9AM , which resulted me proceeding to my classroom and stare at my laptop . I opened a word document and tried to predict the questions that they would be asking . I thought of the most direct question "why do you want to run for waddle v-capt?" . I did some soul searching within myself as I wasn't too sure as well . Did I want to run just because it looked cool ? Just because I would feel superior ? Well, of course not . I thought about it long and hard and I just couldn't put what I felt into words . Therefore , when it was my interview and when they asked the very same question , it didn't exactly go very well , I think I was just stuttering , and I was just being really really nervous . I'd probably not get the chance to run , and I think I was quite upset when I left the room .

Firstly , I didn't know what my aim in life was , and at that point of time , I was unsure , I was truly confused , I didn't know why I had truly wanted to run for V-capt . But I got my answer soon enough at the later parts of the day .

After that , I went to Bishan library that was supposedly a productive session to complete Math AA but Jielin Huimin and myself just completely failed it . We just kept digressing and ended up going onto facebook and watching videos . Then Jielin and I went eat lunch at J8 , ended up getting Gongcha & Oldchangkee ! Y'know I really hate going to J8 , there's just so many sec school people & I just feel really uncomfortable but anyway that's really besides the point .

I wanted to look for red , yellow and green nail polish but then decided to leave frivolous stuff for later and therefore we just headed back to the library . Such hardworking kids :D I was still super worried about MDAS and the stuff we were conducting . Anyway , we went there and had our soap-making session with the very acidic and dangerous solid form of sodium hydroxide .

The people there were just so awesome , it has been such a meaningful day for me . THEY have made it such a wonderful day for me . I don't feel like typing everything out right now , it's pretty late so I shall just copy and paste an extract of the email which I sent to my SL group just now (:

you cannot imagine how super duper proud I am of ourselves , so thank you !
i'm glad that we have had the opportunity to work with them and thanks for calming down my nerves when i have been super pessimistic .
the people there were really awesome and i'm thankful for them :D
thanks for having worked so hard and being the best . although we finished soap making really early , we thought on the spot [SEE I TOLD YOU SO THAT WE HAD TO HAVE MORE ACTIVITIES] and engaged them :D

through this , i have learnt a lot .
i don't know how to explain it but i think i'm super fortunate and we have to learn from them .
many of them still have a cheerful deposition despite being disabled in someway and that is something we should really take into consideration and reflect on ourselves .
they have such a positive outlook in life and i am truly touched .
looking at them just makes me feel shallow about myself and the minor problems i have blown up .

Right , they have truly made a difference in my life . It was just a mere two hours but the people there were really positive and and it was just so touching to see them so happy with their lives even though they had certain conditions that restricted a lot of things they could do .

I really thought hard about myself and the meaning of my life . Are grades really that important ? Yes , to a certain extent but it isn't that important . What I truly want is to be happy . Yeah , I look like I'm always happy but I have emphasized this so many times before . I only appear to be happy most of the time . I am in fact a very troubled person and I am very unhappy with myself . But now , I think that I should have a more positive outlook in life , and learn from the many people around me .

This way , I would be happy and my life wouldn't go to waste . Back to the first section of my post regarding V-captaincy . Why do I want to run for v-captain ? Yes , I love Waddle , I want to serve House , I want to make the House experience a better one for all Waddlians but above all , I want to make the most of my life and do my best in everything I do . I only have one life so I intend to give my all for everything . Only then would I have no regrets and I would be a happy person which I hope would rub off to everyone around me . I know that this reason is probably not selfless enough , it's probably not a good enough reason but I guess that this is the true reason .

I can't wait to volunteer for street sales for THE LIL BIG PROJECT . it's going to be oh so exciting ! :D and another great exposure for myself , and above it all , i'd be able to help the less fortunate , something which has impacted me even more since today .

such a meaningful day ,
so close to finding the real meaning of life ,
a really enlightened liyin :D

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