it's christmas eveeee ;D but i'm not that happy because of lousy experiences buying my christmas gift .
anyway , i shall touch on that later . but my day started out pretty great (: went to my maternal grandparent's house and my grandma , as usual , cooked up a storm (: she cooked super a lot of dishes ! ;D it's just simple homecooked dishes , but it tastes oh so good when she's the one cooking it . argh why didn't my mum inherit her mum's fab cooking skills ? D: psssssssht . i ate super a lot . i think i'm a fat pig .
okay , now for the christmas gift shopping part . okay , so my mother and i went to two shopping malls but we still failed to find a christmas gift for me . perhaps its just me . i think i've read too much about poverty and decide that i don't actually need things that i don't really need . i just make up reasons of why i shouldn't get something when something caught my eye . am i making sense? YES .
okay anyway , at first i was about to order the ryan higa tee hee hoodie . then i told myself that i didn't need a hoodie . i was just buying it because i liked ryan higa . furthermore , the hoodie was grey , which is a colour i don't actually favour . the design was also quite plain . so i striked the hoodie off my christmas wishlist . then , i wanted to get the new michael jackson album , MICHAEL . then i told myself that i could jolly well just listen to the songs online because somebody would definitely post it on youtube or something . also , i can't be sure that it's michael jackson's own voice . also , this album doesn't have that APPROVAL from the king of pop . buying the album doesn't really support mj in any way . i'm just giving money to sony . pssht . then , i wanted to get this spongebob bag . it's like those plush toy type . but that's probably the most stupid thing . and urm you can probably figure out the NOT-TO-BUY reasons for that bag .
yep , so am i getting really retarded and stingy or is my heart getting bigger and i'm actually feeling for the poor people . i mean , i'm a contended person . i have everything i need and don't see the need to get other stuffs . argh what is happening to me ?! i used to buy on impulse and stuffs . being like this is not good either . NOW I DON'T HAVE A CHRISTMAS GIFT . i'd probably get myself a belated one but it's not the same . i guess it's pretty cool that education is working here . i mean , i don't just read about poverty . i actually think about the less fortunate . but i'm not actually doing anything so it doesn't mean a lot . but at least it's working a wee bit .
i guess if i don't see anything i like or anything i need or anything i really want super badly and not just an on-off compulsion kind of thing , i'm going to donate the money i set aside for my christmas gift to charity or something . that's hmmm , about sixty bucks i guess . not a lot , but that's the least i can do . it'll help a bit , just a bit , but it'll help (: why get something unnecessary for myself when i can get something necessary for other less fortunate people ? (: so , i'll give myself three weeks to find something suitable . if i don't , i'll just donate .
okay i take back my words . this is not a lousy christmas gift shopping experience . it's meaningful . though i wasted super a lot of time walking , it made me realise that i have everything i need and i should be contended ;D i guess next year i'll just decide on what i need to buy and get it all one shot . and not contemplate on the spot . that'll save me a whole shit load of time . sorry for that little vulgar word ( is it even vulgar in the first place ) but i'm quite pissed at myself for spending so much time walking around .
oh my gosh i don't know - i'm actually FINALLY making a bit of sense in the way i talk / type , and i really like how i talked / typed in this post (:
christmas , in the spirit of giving and sharing ♥
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